Smalls playing outside, Jax is off house-clearing, I am listening to Radio 2. “For What Is Chatteris” was just on, by the interestingly named “Half Man Half Biscuit”.
I think one needs to know Chatteris to get the full effect…
One way system – smooth and commendable
Go by bus – they’re highly dependable
The swings in the park for the kids have won awards
The clean streets acknowledged in the Lords
But what’s a park if you can’t see a linnet?
A timetable if your journey’s infinite?
My bag’s packed and I’m leaving in a minute
For what is Chatteris without you in it?
Car crime’s low, the gun crime’s lower
The town hall band CD, it’s a grower
You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce
Although there was a drive-by shouting once
But there’s a brass band everywhere
And I don’t drive, so I don’t care
And as a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square
What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?
Like a game-bird reserve short on pheasants
Weavers’ cottages devoid of tenants
A market town that lacks quintessence
That’s Chatteris without your presence
Three good butchers, two fine chandlers
An indoor pool and a first class cake shop
Ofsted plaudits, envy of the Fens
Prick barriers at both ends
But what’s Chatteris if you’re not there?
What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?
What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?
What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?
What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?
What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?
I may as well be in Ely or St.Ives!
PS (No, I hadn’t heard it before, or at least never registered the lyrics, maybe I don’t listen to Radio 2 enough. I edited out the butcher’s apostrophe’s in the lyric’s ver’sion I got off the we’b. ‘So irritating :rant: – then I found a better version by someone with at least some grasp of English)
You know, i think i heard that the other day without fully taking on board what was being said!
I have always suggested HMHB as poetic geniuses. I could reel off classic songs by the dozen from their 20 year back catalogue. Their references are so broad, subutteo to Thomas Tallis. Wonderful.
about 7 miles away from us.
Wonder if anyone has written a song about Somersham?
Yes, surely you know this one:-
I was eight years old and running with a dime in my hand
Into the bus stop to pick up a paper for my old man
I’d sit on his lap in that big old Buick and steer as we drove through town
He’d tousle my hair and say son take a good look around this is Somersham
This is Somersham
This is Somersham
This is Somersham
In ’65 tension was running high at my high school
There was a lot of fights between the black and white
There was nothing you could do
Two cars at a light on a Saturday night in the back seat there was a gun
Words were passed in a shotgun blast
Troubled times had come to Somersham
Somersham
Somersham
Somersham
Now Main Street’s whitewashed windows and vacant stores
Seems like there ain’t nobody wants to come down here no more
They’re closing down the textile mill across the railroad tracks
Foreman says these jobs are going boys and they ain’t coming back to your
Somersham
Somersham
Somersham
Somersham
Last night me and Kate we laid in bed
talking about getting out
Packing up our bags maybe heading south
I’m thirty-five we got a boy of our own now
Last night I sat him up behind the wheel and said son take a good look around, this is Somersham