“Becoming increasingly harder to find, this semi-detached home enjoys ……” You what? Is it camouflaged? Shrinking? Playing hide and seek? No, of course it isn’t, it is just standing there being just as easy/hard to find as ever it was.
lol. You know what the problem is don’t you Tim? When you are an estate agent, you are expected to describe a property as if you had the same fondness for it as the current owners. What the current owners don’t realise is, that theirs maybe the 20th property you have written the details for in the last 3 days and quite frankly, even a well thumbed Thesaurus can’t provide you with enough adjectives. At some point you just run out of steam, and every property starts to look the same.
What you *actually* want to say is: “this is a very middle of the road 3-bed house, that desperately needs work doing to it to make it habitable, so expect to spend your evenings and weekends doing major DIY for some time to come. Or learn to love the builders. The rooms are of less than average size and the kitchen is non-existent to speak of, but if you are willing to lose a living room, then the kitchen could be quite nice. It has an horrendously steep pathway that will be hell in bad weather and the location means that if it snows, you ain’t getting to work (but neither will you be able to go anywhere, so let’s hope your new kitchen has a lovely big freezer). The back garden will probably need a landscaper to sort out as once your back sees the work involved, it will spasm voluntarily, but as least you will be able to see the white countryside for miles around when it does snow. The price reflects the state of the house. Its your call”.
Now what vendor would want you to say that about their lovely home? Even if it is the truth. (and no wonder its been hiding…..;) )
A long, long time ago, (when mobile phones were large enough that you could rent out the cases as studio apartments, although back then we called them flats) I was an estate agent. I may have struggled to find new adjectives, but I do think I avoided writing this kind of incoherent nonsense.
I think your version might actually entice me to go and look at the property, rather than just point and laugh which is about all I am inclined to do with the current details.
A pantry, a porch and views….looks great and added bonus of needing doing up (because you two seem to have a lot of time on yor hands 😉 ). I like that house, I like elevated houses.
😆 It looks good to me- no, look, just because your grammar is better than that-(this is truly a Lynn Truss moment) that’s why your’e not an estate agent and they are 😉
lol. You know what the problem is don’t you Tim? When you are an estate agent, you are expected to describe a property as if you had the same fondness for it as the current owners. What the current owners don’t realise is, that theirs maybe the 20th property you have written the details for in the last 3 days and quite frankly, even a well thumbed Thesaurus can’t provide you with enough adjectives. At some point you just run out of steam, and every property starts to look the same.
What you *actually* want to say is: “this is a very middle of the road 3-bed house, that desperately needs work doing to it to make it habitable, so expect to spend your evenings and weekends doing major DIY for some time to come. Or learn to love the builders. The rooms are of less than average size and the kitchen is non-existent to speak of, but if you are willing to lose a living room, then the kitchen could be quite nice. It has an horrendously steep pathway that will be hell in bad weather and the location means that if it snows, you ain’t getting to work (but neither will you be able to go anywhere, so let’s hope your new kitchen has a lovely big freezer). The back garden will probably need a landscaper to sort out as once your back sees the work involved, it will spasm voluntarily, but as least you will be able to see the white countryside for miles around when it does snow. The price reflects the state of the house. Its your call”.
Now what vendor would want you to say that about their lovely home? Even if it is the truth. (and no wonder its been hiding…..;) )
A long, long time ago, (when mobile phones were large enough that you could rent out the cases as studio apartments, although back then we called them flats) I was an estate agent. I may have struggled to find new adjectives, but I do think I avoided writing this kind of incoherent nonsense.
I think your version might actually entice me to go and look at the property, rather than just point and laugh which is about all I am inclined to do with the current details.
Oh god, i hated being an estate agent…..
A pantry, a porch and views….looks great and added bonus of needing doing up (because you two seem to have a lot of time on yor hands 😉 ). I like that house, I like elevated houses.
😆 It looks good to me- no, look, just because your grammar is better than that-(this is truly a Lynn Truss moment) that’s why your’e not an estate agent and they are 😉